That's What It's all About or How You Lost Your Virginity Doing the Hokey Pokey

Ah yes, it's hard to believe that it's already the 4th Annual D-Day B-Day Challenge. People often ask us, what is this so called DDBDC about? And, for that matter, what the hell is D-Day even about? Well, by now, we all know that D-Day is about honoring the brave men and women who selflessly gave their lives to the invention of the first inflatable mate, but what about this challenge thing? Is it a race? Is it a scavenger hunt? Both? Neither? The answer, undoubtedly, is yes.

According to the 1968 version of the official handbook, the DDBDC was started by the aboriginal tribes-people of southern Pershing Square as a way to honor the fallen members of seminal Spanish language boy-band Menudo (as deemed proper within their local neighborhood ordinances and zoning laws). Since then, the Challenge has grown to be a beast with it's own brain, heart and anatomically correct fun-spots. There may not be quite as much animal sacrifice and self-flagellation anymore, but there is easily as much nudity and firearms. This, coupled with a love of expectorating in public, is really what the D-Day B-Day Challenge is all about.

Ollie, Greg, Mark, Jesus Christ, Bjorn Borg, Steve Vai, that creepy guy who lives down the hall from you with the hairlip, the 14th Dalai Lama and Wario... all people who come to mind when you think of evil geniuses with magical powers born on the 6th of June. I know you're curious, and the answer is: no, these brave souls did not invent the month of June, but they should have, because it would be so fucking rad your face would melt right off of it's utterly stupefied skull. And we all know how much you love melted face on a warm summer day.

Anyway. That should pretty much clear up all your stupid questions. See you on Father's Day this year.

Con amour,

Sir Winston Churchill